My Brother
by horsie606
Summary: Sora and Roxas haven't seen eachother for ages. When the time finally comes that they do, things go in an interesting way. SoRoku
1. My Brother

It was around midnight when Roxas heard a soft knock at the door. Curious as to who would be visiting his new home at this time; he stood up and cautiously opened the door. He frowned as he pulled open the solid oak door, but soon he smiled as he realized who it was.

"S-sora!" He said surprised, flinging himself at him and wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. "Sora! I-I haven't seen you forever!"

The brunette laughed softly, wrapping his arms around his brothers waist and kissing his head softly.

"Hey baby bro." He said quietly, carrying him back inside the apartment and setting him down on the couch.

"W-what are you doing here?" The blonde asked, looking up at him with wide blue eyes. Sora touched Roxas' cheek, gently sliding his fingers down and under his chin.

"I missed you." He said simply.

Sora and Roxas had been having difficulties with visiting. Roxas, was recently adopted by his foster parents, Jane and Noah. At the time, both his parents were unaware that Roxas had anybody for a brother; soon though, the realized that Sora was a sibling and extended an invitation to live with them if he so pleased. Sora, thoughtfully rejected the offer. Sora, was currently living with his best friend, Riku, and leaving Riku on his own seemed selfish to Sora. This meant that Sora lived hours away from Roxas, making it too difficult to spend time together.

"I-I missed you too!" Roxas said with tears welling in his eyes.

Sora and Roxas were closer then anybody could even begin to fathom. When Roxas was adopted it hit him in a way, that nobody-not even his brother-seemed to understand. The separation from his brother caused him deep emotional pain. The brunette boy who was always there for him seemed to seemingly disappear overnight. It tore at his heart unlike anything else in the world; because of this he developed an unhealthy habit. Roxas had began cutting.

"Don't cry love." Sora said in a whisper, kissing his baby brothers forehead softly.

"I-I've just missed you so much!" He exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Sora's waist tightly and burying his face in his chest. Sora gently stroked Roxas' hair, enjoying this time that he got to spend with his one and only love. Little was that known to anybody though. Twin brothers who slept together wasn't exactly an acceptable topic to bring up at the dinner table. They had managed to keep it a secret from everybody so far, and they weren't planning on telling anybody soon.

"Hey love?" Sora said after a few minutes of silence. Roxas looked up at him, his eyes glistening with tears. "You want to go to your room?"

Sora hadn't meant for his statement to sound sexual. His statement simply was implying that he wanted to be totally and completely alone with his brother; where they could share stories and cuddle without having the chance of an unwanted interruption. Of course, Sora wouldn't mind doing sexual things to his brother, but that was Roxas' choice, not his.

Roxas nodded once and grabbed Sora's hand gently, dragging him down the apartment hallway and into a fairly large bedroom. Sora shut the door quietly behind them and wrapped his arms around Roxas' waist tightly, holding him close. Roxas loved it when his brother held it. It was almost like, in that moment the screaming and static would disappear from his mind and he could just be happy. He didn't have the urge to cut.

Roxas looked up at Sora and kissed him on the lips quickly. Sora smiled at his young brother, "If you want to kiss me, you have to do it properly Roxy." He said teasingly, rubbing his nose against his brothers. Roxas started to blush a deep red, something that Sora always loved to see, and buried his face in his chest again.

"Oh so now I don't get real kisses?" Sora asked kissing his head. Roxas smiled into Sora's chest. A real genuine smile, something he hadn't experienced for a long time. He loved his brother he really did, if it wasn't for Sora, then Roxas would most likely be dead.

"Nope. No real kisses." Roxas said brightly. He pulled away from his older brother and walked over to his bed, sitting down on it, his legs crossed. He looked curiously up at Sora, waiting for him to follow. Sora smiled softly and sat down next to Roxas.

"Well that's not very nice." Sora said kissing his nose. "I think I deserve at least one. I did come all the way here." Roxas giggled softly and cupped Sora's cheek carefully in his hand.

"Okay maybe one." He shut his eyes and gently pressed his lips against Sora's. Sora smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms tightly around Roxas. They pulled away as Sora laid back and pulled Roxas on top of him. Roxas looked up at him, love glistening in his eyes, and kissed the bottom of his chin.

"Hmm?" Sora said, slinging his arms loosely over him and adjusting himself in order for them both to be comfortable.

"I just…I miss you so much now." He said quietly running his hand down Sora's chest. Sora shivered and shut his eyes.

"I'm here now." Sora slipped his hands underneath Roxas' shirt and slowly began rubbing circles on his brothers lower back. Roxas relaxed noticeably against Sora and rested his chin against his chest, still focusing in his face. Sora looked at peace, relaxed, like he didn't want to be anywhere but here. Roxas slowly moved himself up and kissed Sora gently, slipping his own hands up Sora's shirt. Sora kissed back, deepening the kiss, it had been so long since he's felt Roxas' lips, he needed them. Roxas sat up slightly and looked down at Sora, cocking his head to the side.

"Sora?" He asked, slowly inching up Sora's shirt, hoping that his brother would end up taking it off. Sora, of course, knew what this meant. His brother wanted to do more, and like hell, of course he was going to give it to him. Sora slipped off his shirt and smirked at Roxas.

"Your turn, cutie." Roxas blushed again and shook his head slightly.

"Come on love." Sora teased. Roxas shifted uncomfortably, if he took off his shirt, Sora would know about his cutting. His cuts weren't exactly…discreet. Half his mind wanted to let Sora in, to know what he was feeling; the other half screamed for him to stop, Sora didn't need to worry about him. He shut his eyes and slowly slid out of his shirt, scared at what the brunettes reaction might be. He opened his eyes seconds later and stared at the perfectly structured body of his brother; he wished that he had that, instead of one covered in scars. Sora's smirk slowly began to fade as he noticed scars over Roxas' chest, stomach and arms; it seemed there wasn't a spot where there weren't any.

"Baby…" He started, touching one gently on his shoulder, "Oh baby." Roxas looked up at him with sad eyes.

"I-I…I-I'm okay." He finally managed to get out, forcing a small smile along with it. The static and the screaming came back to his head; he desperately craved his razor blade. Sora shook his head and ran his fingers through his brothers hair.

"How can I make it better?" He asked, worry lacing his voice. He couldn't lose Roxas, Roxas was his everything. Roxas looked at him for a second and leaned down, kissing him roughly. Sora moaned quietly, Roxas wasn't the one to usually be so rough, Roxas was soft and gentle, but Sora, Sora liked rough more. Roxas smirked into the kiss; letting the moan fill his mind instead of the screams telling him that Sora was only using him. He grabbed on to his brothers pants and forced them down.

"R-roxas." Sora started, kicking his pants off regardless.

"I need you Sora." Roxas murmured in his ear, biting his earlobe and sucking on it briefly. Sora suppressed another moan and nodded. Roxas let out a small little whimper as Sora felt the bulge in his brothers pants grow harder. He helped the blonde out of his own pants and gently pressed their bodies together. Sora flipped them both over so he was on top and gently began sending kisses down his brothers jaw and neck. He laid extra soft kisses along the pink scars that looked like they couldn't have been any older than two days.

Roxas shut his eyes tightly and knotted his hand in Sora's spiky brown hair. Sora continued his kisses down his brothers chest, leaving one long one on his belly-button, and gently nudged Roxas' boxers down.

"S-Sora…" Roxas started, his eyebrows furrowing as he let out a plead for more. Sora smirked as he kissed both of his hips before gently licking the length of his brother.

"N-nygh…" His hand in Sora's hair becoming tighter as he felt a need for Sora to be closer, doing more. Sora took him into his mouth and started rhythmically bobbing his head.

"F-fuck…!" Roxas exclaimed after he felt the warmth and wetness, making his body heat up more, the static in his head growing louder and louder. He felt like he was going to explode and quite frankly that frightened him; he pushed that aside though and just tried to focus on the tongue skillfully pleasuring him.

Sora continued to bob his head, slowly gaining speed with each passing second, until he heard Roxas let out a tiny scream and felt him explode into his mouth. Sora swallowed willingly and kissed back up his chest, planting a rough kiss upon his lips.

"S-sora…" Roxas moaned quietly, digging his nails into his back and grinding his hips against him. "M-more…" He begged, pressing himself against Sora. Sora stopped fighting and let out a moan; feeling the way Roxas pressed against him and hearing his begging sent him over the edge every time. He kicked off his boxers and kissed Roxas' neck gently but then biting down hard, drawing a little bit amount of blood; feeling slightly bad because he didn't need any more scars on his damaged body. He heard Roxas whimper again, begging, pleading that Sora do more to him.

Roxas' head had gone blank. He didn't hear anything now; not even the sound of Sora whispering lovely things in his ear. He enjoyed the quiet, something he didn't seem to have often anymore.

Sora smiled into his neck and started sucking softly; he gently worked his fingers in to Roxas and began prepping him. Roxas whimpered again, cupping the back of Sora's head and using the other to slowly drag his nails down Sora's back.

Sora could never count how many scratch marks this boy had given him, it was his signature. He slowly removed his fingers and positioned himself in order to not hurt Roxas too much. He quickly slid in to Roxas and shuddered as he wondered how he was still this tight.

Roxas let out a loud moan, half screaming, half moaning; it was a miracle that his parents weren't awake yet. Sora left his neck and returned to his lips where he kissed him passionately as he slowly worked his way in and out of him, trying to make it last as long as he could.

"H-harder…" Roxas murmured against his lips. Sora moaned in return and hit Roxas harder, making sure that this time he hit his prostate. Roxas moaned loudly again, moving in time with Sora, making it certain that Sora was hitting him in all the right places. Roxas, in this process had become hard again. Sora felt him rubbing against his stomach, only making he himself harder. Roxas, though, reached down and began pumping himself, wanting himself and Sora to end close. Roxas whimpered loudly again and Sora begun to thrust faster now, he could feel that he was about to finish.

"R-roxas…" He moaned, "I-I…I…" He felt his eyes roll back in his head and he hit Roxas as hard as he could a final time and released his load inside him. Roxas screamed again once he felt Sora's orgasm and he himself exploded across Sora's chest. Sora panted and kissed Roxas' cheek gently, before removing himself and lying down next to him. Roxas grabbed a box of Kleenex and handed them to Sora. They both cleaned themselves up and Sora wrapped his arms back around Roxas. Roxas looked up at him and nuzzled into his neck.

"Mm…Sora…" He sighed happily, smiling a small smile and pulling himself close to him. "My Sora."

"My Roxas." Sora answered quietly, pulling the bed covers over both of them and cuddling Roxas closer.

The noise in Roxas' head slowly returned, gaining volume with each passing minute. He was thankful that the noise had disappeared for a while, but his depression was setting back in now. A good moment here and gone the next.

Roxas listened as Sora fell asleep; his chest slowly rising and lowering. He stayed awake though, afraid of what horrors may await him when he was left alone with nothing but his own mind.


	2. My Secret

Roxas lied. Roxas was the farthest thing from okay. After Sora had fallen asleep that night; Roxas a snuck out of the room and in to the bathroom. He looked around before shutting the door and locking it tightly; not wanting any interruptions for what he was about to do. Grabbing the razor-that he had kept hidden behind the toilet- he slid down to the floor and pressed the cool metal to the inside of his wrist.

He hated doing this, but even after the love Sora had given him, something inside of him said that he wasn't good enough for Sora. That tore him apart.

The metal sliced through the delicate skin on his wrist easily; small droplets of blood lazily dripped out and down to the tiled floor. He let it bleed for a minute before moving the blade down to his hips. Lowering the bleeding wrist to the ground, he dug the blade deep in to his hip, making him have to bit his lip to prevent himself from screaming. After the two cuts we done, he wiped a tear off him cheek- that he hadn't known was there- and just sat on the floor.

Roxas had started cutting right after he was adopted. He had to enter this new and unknown life, and it all was just so overwhelming for him. He would no longer see his brother as much anymore. The pain he received from cutting took some pain away emotionally. It was the best he had.

As his eyes began to droop, from lack of sleep, there was a quiet knock on the bathroom door.

"Roxy?" A sleepy Sora yawned, "Are you in there?" Roxas' eyes widened as he realized he still had blood freely flowing down his arm and his leg. Pools were beginning to form underneath him, and he had no way to hide it.

"Y-yeah Sor." Roxas choked out, scrambling up. He felt light headed suddenly and had to stop before grabbing a towel and trying to mop up the blood on the floor. He raced around the bathroom, trying to bandage up his new cuts as best he could.

"Can you come back to bed? I'm lonely without you." Sora whined, jiggling the door knob.

"Don't come it!" Roxas unintentionally yelled, "I mean, one second Sora." He said softer. Sora was silent on the other side of the door, but Roxas knew that he would still be there. He finished bandaging his cuts and looked at the blood-stained towel on the floor. He quickly picked it up and threw it in the bathtub. His mom would find it later today, but hopefully he could wash it before it came to that.

Roxas threw open the door, to come face to face with a concerned brunette. After a moment of silence, Sora spoke first.

"What were you doing in there?" He asked walking over to Roxas and wrapping his arms around his waist. The brunette's arm glazed over Roxas' fresh cut, making him wince slightly but quickly recover.

"Brushing my hair." He murmured back, pressing a soft kiss to Sora's cheek. Another silence followed.

"Are you going to tell me the truth?" Sora whispered, pulling him closer so their bodies were pressed against each other.

The internal debate in Roxas' head, was telling him to tell Sora about his cutting and how he felt. But the other side, the one that didn't want Sora to know anything, was obviously winning,

"Can we just go back to bed?" Roxas said, faking a yawn trying to assist his favour. His brother nodded after a moment and grabbed his hand gently, pulling him back in to the room and on to the bed. The younger blonde took his spot back on the older one's chest and shut his eyes to listen to his heart.

"You can tell me anything Rox." Sora said after Roxas was sure he had fallen asleep again.

"I know Sora."

"Can I ask you something?" The older boy asked, playing with the blonde spikes in the others hair. Roxas nodded once and pressed himself closer to his brother. "Why do you do it?"

Of course Roxas knew what he was asking. Why did he cut? Why did he need to punish himself? Why does the pain do something for him that nothing else can? Why is he so fucked up in the head? He knew what he was asking, but he didn't know any of the answers.

He remained silent, until he heard Sora sigh and felt his muscular arms wrap around him.

"I love you. I always will. I just want to help. I can't lose you." He pressed a kissed to those blonde spikes and hoped the words he was saying would get through to the younger boy.

Roxas, on the other hand, was on the verge of tears. Hearing Sora say these words and mean these things, killed him a little inside. He loved Sora, but he cut himself _because _of Sora. He felt guilty and selfish, and Sora deserved better than that.

Sora left his lips on the blonde's head, and eventually drifted off in to a dreamless slumber. Roxas though, remained awake, contemplating what he should do next.


	3. My Attempt

Roxas was wiping way the excess tears off his cheeks as Sora woke up. Roxas didn't sleep at all last night and after several hours of trying, he decided to just stay up. He cut once again-this time a deep gash along his thigh-and he had been crying since then; he felt like he was betraying and lying to Sora in some way.

Sora sat up right in the bed and stretched, while letting out a loud yawn. As he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he finally noticed the blonde sitting curled up in the chair across from the bed. Roxas didn't notice he was awake at first; he was too lost in the cloudy thoughts that poisoned his mind. More screaming had returned and despite all his attempts he couldn't quell them. Finally, though, he noticed the brunette staring at him quietly and forced a small smile.

"Morning." Roxas muttered quietly, rubbing his eyes to make sure there were no more tears left over. Sora didn't respond immediately; he noticed that something was wrong with his younger brother. It wasn't like him to wake up earlier than him, let alone leave the bed without waking him up. Roxas always woke Sora up when he woke up; he said it was because 'he wanted to start the day together.' This was extremely out of character for his usually enthusiastic brother.

"Good morning." Sora said carefully, sliding out of the twin sized bed and shuffling over to the still curled up blonde. His eyes darted to the light blue pullover the blonde was now sporting. Sora tried to reason in his head why the blonde might have put a wool pullover on in the middle of August and his mind only came up with depressing ideas. After last night, and the show of Roxas' scars, maybe depressing ideas weren't so far-fetched.

He crouched down in front of the boy and offered him a warm smile. Sora was unsure how he should go about asking this; if he said the wrong thing...

"Roxy?" He started quietly, grabbing the blondes hand and rubbing circles among the top. Roxas looked up at him, nothing was visible in his eyes. The light that was usually there had seemingly disappeared; leaving nothing but bleakness. "Can I ask you something sweetie?" He asked, bringing his hand up to his mouth and kissing it softly.

Roxas continued to stare at him for a moment before faking another smile and nodding as enthusiastically he could manage.

"Of course." He mustered cheerfully, kissing the brunette's forehead quickly. He was somewhat taken aback by the sudden enthusiasm his brother displayed, but his empty blue eyes deceived him; told Sora it all was a lie.

"Can you take your sweater off for a second? Please?" Sora tried to think of an excuse why, "I want to make sure I didn't hurt you last night," was all he managed to come up with.

Roxas' world came somewhat crashing down on him, the screaming intensified.

"You didn't." He answered too quickly, anger lacing his usually sweet and honey like voice. Sora furrowed his eyebrows and gave Roxas a look of pleading. He needed to see what Roxas was hiding.

"Please." He whispered. His voice cracking slightly. Knowing that he was putting Sora in this type of pain was too much for Roxas to handle; he needed his escape. Roxas pushed on Sora's shoulders, making him topple to the floor, and strode out of the room in three easy steps. He quickened his pace to get to the bathroom and slammed the door shut accidentally.

He cursed himself as he realized the slam would probably awaken his parents; Sora could take to them then. They would finally know what was happening to their darling little son. He grabbed his blonde hair and pulled hard and he sunk to the floor, fighting back the scream that was forming in his chest. He heard footsteps outside in the hallway and then muttering; and he knew, that it was about him.

He grabbed his razor blade quickly and debated over whether or not to end it right there. All he had to do was cut down; hold it too his throat. He'd be free of the voices, the screaming, the constant pain that was always welling in his chest. He wanted it all to end, he knew he did; yet there was something that held him back. That screamed for him to stay alive, to get better, that there was so much more in life than this pain.

He held it to his wrist; broken sobs escaping from his lips. He heard banging on the door but it all sounded far away. The screaming in his head was telling him to end it. Nobody would miss him. Sora had Riku, his mom had his dad, everybody had somebody else. Nobody _needed _him. He began to tremble uncontrollably; the sobs intensified.

Noah broke down the door with ease and was stunned to find his son on the ground in such a broken state. Jane forced by him and knelt down next to her only son; the only son she could ever have.

"Baby." She said quietly, touching his cheek gently. Roxas pulled away from her quickly and looked at her with frantic eyes.

"Go away." He almost screamed, pressing the razor blade down; letting small droplets of blood suddenly surround it. He hated that he was doing this too himself, let alone right in front of his mother and father, but it was his escape; when he needed it he was going to do it. The screaming had become the loudest he ever made it, by now it would have died down because he gave it the blood that it so desperately craved. He shut his eyes, trying to tune out everything; his parents, Sora, the screaming, the blade against his skin. He wanted it all to disappear.

Jane watched as he son slowly moved the razor blade across his wrist, horrified as she realized how far he was digging it in.

"Roxy." She said frightened. She motioned for Noah to help her and by doing so he managed to get the razor blade away from Roxas. Roxas, finally let out the pent up scream he had been holding back. Half out of his own misery and pain, and half out of frustration. He had the chance to end his life, why didn't he?

Sora stood in the doorway, tears streaming down his cheeks. He hated that he hadn't noticed this, and he wondered that if he had lived with them he would have. Roxas was always so happy when they were together, he didn't understand what had happened. He took a step back from the door and stumbled in to the wall. This was all so confusing.

Jane had quickly grabbed bandages from the cabinet and silently gave thanks that she was nurse and not squeamish around blood. As Noah held Roxas, as he had began thrashing around in an almost violent manner, Jane carefully dressed his wounds. When she was finished, Roxas had calmed down quite a bit and was staring blankly at the tiled floor.

What was wrong with him?

"Sweetheart?" Jane finally said after an uncomfortable silence had settled. Roxas glanced up at her, to give her the notion he was listening, but did nothing else to acknowledge her. "Come here." She said quietly, grabbing him by the waist and giving him a gentle hug. Roxas was unsure as to how he should be reacting, but soon found himself wrapping his arms around his sad mother and crying quietly in to her neck. She soothed him as Noah found the blood-stained towel from the night before, grabbed everything sharp from the bathroom and led Sora to the front of the apartment.

They stayed like that for a long while before Jane gently pushed him away and gave him a small smile. He stared back at her broken. He hated that he did that in front of her.

"I think..." She started but didn't finish. Instead, she stood up and helped him up slowly. Roxas stumbled a bit but was caught by Jane and they walked to her and Noah's bedroom. She laid him down on the bed and tucked the covers around him. She looked around the room, as to find any other sharp instruments and when she found none, kissed him on the forehead and sat down beside him.

Roxas hadn't realized how exhausted he was until his head it the pillow and how his mom began stroking his golden locks gently. He shut his eyes and was soon sleeping.  
>Jane continued to sit with him, until Noah came in with Sora. Sora appeared that he had been crying and something inside Jane felt incredibly guilty. She motioned for Sora to come to sit beside her, and as he did, she kissed his forehead as well and asked him to look after Roxas; while she and Noah had a talk.<p>

They left the room and once out of it, Jane broke down in to uncontrollable sobs, not fully processing what she had just witnessed her son doing. Noah held her tightly against his chest and she cried. He wasn't an emotional person, but right now he was just confused at to what he should be feeling or how he should be acting. Noah picked Jane up carefully after a few moment and carried her to the living room; where the sat on the sofa in silence.

"Noah," Jane finally said, "what are we going to do?" She looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears, more falling down her cheeks. Noah wiped them away thoughtfully and kissed her gently. He offered no response though to her question, he had no idea what they were supposed to do with their supposedly suicidal son. Once Jane realized Noah wasn't going to offer an answer she laid her head on his chest and shut her eyes.

She didn't know what they were supposed to do with him, but one thing was for sure; she was going to do anything she could to protect him, even from himself.


End file.
